M.A.E. Chats: How The Summer I Turned Pretty Captures The Uncertainty of Your 20s

Join us in this episode of M.A.E. Chats as we dive into the captivating world of The Summer I Turned Pretty and explore how it perfectly encapsulates the uncertainty of your 20s. With its relatable characters and coming-of-age storylines, this series is all about embracing the summer vibes that come with newfound freedom and independence. As we navigate the ups and downs of life, we learn valuable life lessons about chasing dreams, cultivating a growth mindset, and surrounding ourselves with good vibes that promote personal growth. The Summer I Turned Pretty is more than just a story - it's a reflection of our own journeys, filled with moments of self-discovery, uncertainty, and the pursuit of happiness. Tune in to find out how this series captures the essence of our twenties and the importance of staying true to ourselves as we navigate the twists and turns of life.

Watch The 20 Something Playbook Episodes here: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1Rs9oUYUlEcNigeakfAcHDyKl2mSlAJ6&si=8zPCw5kYA_bQCQE1

M.A.E. Chat from last week: https://www.youtube.com/live/FJfwF3tyk5c?si=iqTHTW1UepjlVvdb

Follow us @20SomethingPlaybook on IG and TikTok

Transcript:

Hey everyone, welcome to lipstick on your teeth.

Okay, now go. Hey everyone, welcome to May Chats and today we're talking about how the summer I turn pretty captures the uncertainty of your 20s. Indeed, I wanted to say this quickly. I I'm going to say it on here. I probably should have said this before we started, but I wrote this down the other day when I was thinking about this chat. Mhm. I said, "As someone who has been editing the socials, keep thy mouth shut when speaking. When someone else is speaking, if you must share thy opinion, tap thy sister on thy leg and wait patiently for thy chatter to die down." Thank you for stating that. Just wanted everyone to know that before we get going. I appreciate that reminder. We went to a summer turn pretty watch party. It was epic on Wednesday. Best day of my life personally. It was so fun. Just like we'll have to link the vlog. the most fun ever. It was in like a restaurant bar close to downtown Toronto. It was wonderful. Matt and I had hell of a time getting there. Just going to say I drove and we got stuck in this like back alleyway that I didn't even know existed. And it was like the backyards of people's homes, but it was like this little dirt road. We were like in the city, but like I I went down that road cuz I thought it would get me back cuz we were on like a one-way street and I thought it would get me back to the main road cuz we're looking for parking, but it just like took us like dead end and saved the day. Yeah. And then L called us and said park in We were actually on the right road the whole We were We were actually on the right road the whole time that it just stopped talking and tapped Ava's leg to start talking. Is that what just happened? Yeah. Okay. Sorry. Go. Go ahead. Someone speak. Oh, no. Sorry. So, I think like we were watching it. We got really inspired for our show because when people were going absolutely feral for all like this it was the finale episode obviously. I was like I want people to go feral for our show. I want this. Sorry. I literally am breaking my own rule. It was so fun. Thy leg. Touch thy sister's leg. It was just like so fun to see how like emotionally invested everyone is. Like I was too. It was we were screaming at the top of our lines. We were screaming and I mean I feel like everyone's made if you haven't watched it yet. There will be spoilers in this so Yeah, that's a great pre-warning. I'm just going to say that because when I'm about to spoil something, so this is your last chance. When she chased him to get to his train, we were literally screaming and banging the town. It was so fun too because all like there was how many of us? Like probably 100 or 200 and like everyone reacting at the same time. Yes. And we were all screaming. I saw videos from other bars that did that and the energy was not as good as ours. I our screaming screaming like there was like a line out the door for like people who wanted to get into this watch party. Oh yeah. And they had like I didn't even put this in I made a little vlog on it for like social media, but like I didn't even put this in it, but they had a drink list that was like what did our friend got? Oh my god, it was it was like we went with El's work friends. Something to do with a margarita. I think she made like pink margaritas in season 2 or something and it was it was like the you shouldn't marry him shot. It was the don't marry him shot. Did you get a photo of it? You can read them out. I can but that's not what we're talking about. It was so hard to stay away from spoilers that day cuz we couldn't watch it. Comes out like what 3:00 in the morning or something. Yeah. And we couldn't watch it until um until the evening at like 8:00. So, and I work in social media. So, me and my coworker all day. We were like desperate to stay like but like we had to go on social media because it was like launch day for our company and we had to post stuff. But, it was so hard to not get spoilers. But we like saw one spoiler, but it was literally just Jeremiah and um Denise kissing and we saw it for like.5 seconds. We're like whatever. If I saw like belly at like the end like each other on the train, it would have ruined the episode for me. Thankfully, I had no idea what was going to happen. But the drinks Ava kept saying stay safe out there. Oh yeah. Honey baby spritz, peach belly knee. I definitely said that wrong. Cacao is the bean. Oh my god. Cuz of the cacao cake. the Red Bird and the Don't Marry Him. You miss Belly's famous pomegranate margarita. Belly's famous. Yeah. So, they had all those. That was fun. I didn't drink any of them because I don't drink. But I had I had an iced tea. But anyway, Oh, wait. Sorry. Let's get into today's topic. The relevance of today's episode today. Well, I just think like the third season especially I mean the whole show is very like coming of age. You know, she's learning lots of lessons, but I feel like the third season was especially like the 20's experience. like she went to college, she left college, she left home. Like there was just like so much I feel like she was learning and growing through. And I I saw this thing that they were saying um Oh my god. Wait, let me find it. Oh, they're saying just that like any age can enjoy it because it's very like psychologically rich in a way. Like I know it's just kind of like a young adult TV show, but they're saying like it's very like it's like emotional time travel. I saw someone comment something and it was like, you know, they it was another video cuz I think bars around the world were watching this show. Yeah. And like had watch parties and I saw something where someone was like, isn't this show for like 17 year olds and I was like I feel like technically yes, but the fact that it resonates with so many people I feel like just shows you how it is actually emotionally rich. And I also think at the end of the day, it's about someone like who has to make really big lifealtering decisions or like what feels like lifealtering decisions and she like doesn't even know herself yet. She's trying to like figure out like who she is and what she wants. And I saw this thing too that was saying that like dating both the brothers, which like you know she obviously gets a lot of flack for um was her like trying on or like trying to figure herself out and seeing like what love fits her. Mhm. Like what type of love? Cuz apparently they were both and they were both very different types of love for her. Yes. Go ahead. I'm going to tell you what my favorite part was. And I think that this part was so real. I mean, it was after their very spicy makeup scene. And it was when they were in dressed by Taylor Swift. Yeah. Literally, they were in they were in bed and they were talking before he left and started crying and then she chased after him. Um, but they were talking and it was like she was like voicing like she was like, "Oh, I thought you just loved me because your mom said you would and then she died." And I was like, "I feel like that's so valid of like a concern." Well, it's like also like it just it reminds you of like all the random concerns you have and then you voice them out loud and you realize how silly they sound. Yeah. And I feel like that was a moment for them. It took them four years to get there. Yeah. Which was an excruciating four years. I think even more maybe. But it was just like like I remember that I saw an interview of the actors saying this and they were just like yeah like once they voiced those concerns you realize how silly they were. And I feel like that's something that happens a lot in real life. I feel like that was a really real moment. I agree. I think something that you know talking about different identities. I think something that I found very relatable and 20s, I guess, like young adult specific, was when Belly moved to Paris and took on this new identity. Once again, like Paris is a new identity and her way of finding herself. And I felt like at the end there was like this convergence of who she was at the beginning of the story, not even the season, but the story, who was like this super romantic, like heart on her sleeve, totally boy crazy in love with Conrad. And then like the Parisian version of herself who was like trying to play it cool and independent and had her own identity and had no in her life had nothing to do with the brothers. And I think it was almost like this full circle moment of like the convergence of those identities. And I think when you're when you're in your young adulthood, like I think it starts in your teens, but into your 20s, like you're trying on all these different identities. And sometimes you're trying on different identities identities to get away from yourself. But I think in the end, like what we even learned through the love story with Belly and Conrad is that you can't escape yourself or like your authenticity. And I think that's been a really big lesson of my 20s is trying, you know, doing my best to remain true to myself despite how like despite the negative experiences that I've had that have made me feel like I want to be different so I feel better about myself. But in the end, you can't really like you're going to be miserable if you're not true to yourself. Yeah. True. I think like Yeah. Like I think she again like it sounds silly cuz we're talking about a show, but I just feel like these are universal experiences. Like her leaving home, whether that means you go to college, you even if you just like get a job, like there's there's a lot of different ways to like leave home and see what you're like in a different situation. And I feel like that teaches a lot about yourself, teaches you a lot about yourself. And I feel like she realized that, like you said, she couldn't escape herself. It's almost like just because she's in this new location, like she still had to accept feelings she had. That's the girl she's always been. Yeah. And insecurities about yourself, all these things like they don't just go away cuz like you move somewhere new or you start something different. Like it's just like I feel like sometimes sometimes though I feel like moving away or doing different things can give you perspective. Well, I think it's a bit of I think it was a bit of both for Belly in the summer turn pretty. I think part of it was very healthy for her and she needed it. And I think another part was her way of trying to escape the things that were really painful back home. Um, which you was the main thing. Yeah. Like that was the main thing, but I think she built a life there. You know, keep getting that that champagne from your dad from our wedding. Yeah. Seriously, you needed to stop doing that. Yeah. Another funny thought I had, which is kind of random, but I remember like watching The Samurai Turn Pretty and the finale and I was just thinking like, wow, like I am just trying to find one. I know. And she's two. She's at like three or something. And we're also re-watching The Vampire Dies right now. So, we're like in a really love triangle heavy place. Love triangle heavy. I actually would never wish a love triangle myself. Never wish a love triangle. So stressful. Oh my gosh. the stress and anxiety. Well, they were saying, "I don't wish that on anyone." Wait, there was something else I saw that I thought was interesting. Unless you want that, then go for it. Live your life. Oh my goodness. Yeah. Live your life. Live that. We know people who have had love and they've had happy endings. So, Oh, no. There's this thing and it was like talking about how Jeremiah and Conrad or whatever, the two guys in the show, were like two very different types of people. And she was like weighing on like she was weighing emotional fulfillment against emotional security because Conrad made her apparently feel like emotionally fulfilled cuz he was like her true love but like Jeremiah was very safe. But like I also think it's interesting that she had to wait. Jeremiah was her best friend. Hot take. Yeah, he was. That's what they're saying. It's like he was the safer option. But it doesn't mean he was the right choice. But I also don't think Conrad was the right choice like earlier on in the show cuz he was extremely emotionally unavailable. Yeah. But then he went to therapy. Then he went to therapy. I think she could have used therapy, too. It's very rare, but it's great that that happened. Yeah. But I think she maybe could have used that, too. Oh, 100%. But she got there at the end, you know, like she didn't necessarily go to therapy, but I feel like she found she got she she had a lot of self-reflection in Paris. I think there'd be a lot less conflict. She held space for herself. Yeah. I think there'd be a lot less conflict if they went to therapy, but then there wouldn't be a show. But then there wouldn't be a show. In real life, you would. Also, if you read the books, it makes a lot more sense because her d her inner dialogue is like she doesn't want to be this way. It gives you perspective reading the book. She's trying her best. Ellen, I read the books a few years ago and it really does give you perspective few years ago. I read it like three months ago. I think the thing that's this year, I read it a few years ago. Actually, I read it at the be at the end of last year. Matty's tapping. I was just going to say I think the thing that I like about the summer turn pretty in the story is that they don't shy away from the vulnerability of Belly from each season like from one season to the next. Like she's what this whole rundown is killing me. No, but like we're reflecting. I think it's good that they like lean into the vulnerable, the embarrassing, the painful. Oh yeah. You know, like she does so many honestly. There's so many like bless her. She makes bad choices. Listen, we all sometimes make bad choices. I mean, we try not to, but mistakes happen. And I feel like she makes a lot of mistakes, and that's very human of her. But then you like, but then she I love Belly. I've never not liked Belly. Anyone who doesn't like Belly just doesn't see that she's actually a good person. She's just she's just having a hard time. You know what I think? I think she's just trying her best. You know, she is. And honestly, if you read the books, then you'll know her inner dialogue explains a lot. She's not trying to rip the family apart. She's just trying to Girl is just living her life. It's not her fault that she was gifted two brothers at birth who both are in love with her. That's crazy. Like, let the girl live. She's a Oh, this is what I said. She's an unapologetically human and she's a work in progress. Like, we all are. And I also like,

well, these are sounding so corny. They are. It's very cliche, but like I just feel like honestly though, like I feel like life is cliche. Like we all go for we've always said that remember you guys are being like oh my gosh romcoms can be so cringey and then you're like love is cringy like it is that cringy cuz it is it's love. It's just like pesky little feelings. Pesky little feelings for other people to call them pesky. Yeah, they are pesky. You know how I've seen these memes where it's like oh no one day when I get married my family's going to know I have feelings. That's how I feel. I don't I don't think that's true. You guys know I have feelings in other departments. We know. We all know you have feelings. Not No one thinks you don't. You're a very empathetic, compassionate person. You're not stone cold. Oh, that's not what I'm saying. No, but I'm saying Yeah, but you talking like you're like No, you don't show your feelings. No, I mean like for another person that's outside of the family and my friends. Oh, for a boy, if you will. For a boy. Yeah. That but that I have to share that the boy will come to me. How do I explain that meme? Oh, it's just a Voldemort. Voldemort and he's talking about Harry Potter and he's saying the boy will come to me. And I've seen memes about it where it's like that's Draco's dad is like why don't you just go to the boy yourself? No, the boy must come to me. Yeah, the boy must come. This is going to be a tough podcast. Come to me. Don't you understand? Don't you understand? The boy will come to This is going to be a tough podcast to watch for people who aren't into like movies and shows. Yeah, we apologize. If you haven't seen Harry Potter, the thing is like comment down below confused. The nature of our ways as well is that we watch shows and when people big audiences obsess over them, we look at them and go, "Why did everyone obsess over this?" Because we want our show to be obsessed. That's just the dream. Like, don't you like I want people in bars shouting out a scream for our show. Like, that's just Jenny Han, you Wait. Jenny H. Jenny Han, you're living the dream. Sorry. Oh yeah, whenever Stranger Things comes out, I always also feel that way about Stranger Things as well because it's like a cultural moment and I love it when that happens. I would love that to happen for us. And um also this experience is making us feel like we should have a love triangle on our show. So just think that's a vibe or not? Yeah, I don't know yet. Love interest. Love interest for sure. But I know we were just talking about that today. Like y'all were like I thought y'all were sold on that. Maddie and Maddie, you were I was this morning. Her mind chang my next move. No, we never do. You are unpredictable. You really are a loose can and foolish girl who needs some medication. I am. Yeah, I am. So true. That's so true. How many times have I said that in my life? Okay, wait. I had another thing. Oh my god. All these are so cliche, but I'm going to say it anyway cuz I feel like it's like just part of life. The journey of becoming yourself is never a straight line, but a winding, chaotic, and ultimately beautiful process. Beautiful. Is that what you'd say? Is that what I'd say? What are you referencing specifically? Just Belly. That was like something that I saw a little nugget on online about Belly. Oh, and I agree because I think it's like she makes a ton of mistakes. She does a lot of like crazy things, but at the end of the day, like she did get to a point where she quote unquote found herself. I don't know if you ever truly do find yourself though. I feel like you're constantly like going through changes. Yeah, that's kind of scary. Like I don't think I don't know. Like I feel like the I like feeling lost to me like I don't like that. You have control feelings though. Do I? I guess I do. I like I remember being like a teenager and being like uhoh, I feel lost. This doesn't feel good. Yeah, but you're always going to be a little bit lost. Who said there's those quotes that there's like there's pleasure in the path. I'm like I don't like no path. I think a path even if I make it myself. Go ahead. I think Josie said this. Um, sorry that was an email. Who emailed you? It wasn't a job, that's for sure. That's what we were curious. We want to know. I had a couple interviews this week. We'll see. Not not getting my hopes up. But what was I saying? She doesn't want to work in the bar like Belly did. No, she's done the serving thing. I considered retail, but I don't I was talking about being lost and how Oh, I think it was Josie actually that said this. One of our guests, Josie Santi found. Yeah, she said, "I've always felt a little lost and a little found." And I think that's normal. That's adorable. I don't remember that. Well, you didn't edit it. I did. I did. Sorry, that wasn't meant to sound sassy, but No, no, no. I just I have a problem with forgetting things. That's okay. Like, honestly, Belly's like whole story is like my worst nightmare. Wow. Like that. Don't tell Belly that, Belly, if you're watching. So entertaining and fun to watch, but like that is not a nightmare. No, that's not what I'm saying. I just like I used an AI. Should I tell them I use Yes. Get into Yes. One of my friends sent me um a photo that she had AI generated herself in a Polaroid with Conrad and it looked so cute and she g she sent the prompt. She's like, "Just in case anyone wants it was in a group chat. just in case anyone wants to use it. And I was in the car. We were on our way to Ottawa for a wedding. And I was like, you know what? I just finished my workday. Oh, do you want to make a wish? Oh, should I wish for Conrad? He's already got his girl. It's like with Conrad, you know, that's like, "May this love find me." What did you say with this may this love attack me? Yeah. Honestly, well, once they figured their [ __ ] out. Yeah. Not for that. I don't want that to attack me. But what I was going to say is I put in the prompt into I believe it was Google AI or something. It's like called Gemini or something and it what turned out to be a beautiful Polaroid of me and Conrad now lives in my phone. You guys look adorable together. We were like this. You guys look like a cute couple. Honestly, you did. I shipped it. I know. But I shipped belly and him too hard to want me to replace her. Yeah. He's also affectional. I actually too watching the summer turn pretty like I already knew this but like I feel like this might be like I don't think this is controversial cuz it's not but like Wait, I wanted to say something about the lost and pound thing after. Okay. Do you want to say it now? I I want to know whatever you were going to say. Well, I was just saying like the whole online dating stuff just doesn't work for me. Like that's been a part of like my authenticity with like dating. How many times have I said this before? Yes. Well, no. Like on the podcast. Have I said this before? is enough. All I got to do is copy you. Go ahead. Go. No, just like I want to meet you. Like we've talked about this. Oh yeah. Yeah. I want to meet you. I want an inerson meet cute. I want it to be that story where like you know I'm with my husband 30 years later and they're like how did you guys meet? And it's like this wonderful like you look at him and you're like he had this really funny prompt on his No, that's what I'm saying. I don't want that. He commented on my lemon photo. Online dating show. That's not what I want. Maddie had a photo on on there that was like her with a bucket of lemons. No, guys, you from our our um cousins. Yeah. I was just like Yeah. And then I the prompt was like guess where this photo was taken or something. Oh my goodness. That photo without fail. I changed my profile many times. That photo without fail got the most likes, the most comments, the most engagement. I feel like it's because it was just easy to spark conversation for them. Yeah, for sure. Cuz they were like, "Oh my god, she's carrying a bucket of lemons. I can comment." like when life gives you lemons. No, literally make lemonade. Cuz it was like they didn't have to call you pretty. They didn't have to do anything like that cuz other photos of yourself like what are you going to say? Like all you can really say is like you look nice. It's like they they're like oh my god I can say something. I was not people. I just calling you pretty. No, no, that's oh my god. I'm not trying to be a brat. The thing I do it's not them. It's not the guys on there. It's the that how you meet the situation. Like there's it's so void of I love to go on there and just like text pranks. Oh, like prank. Also, you would have so much fun. Also, you get someone's vibe way faster when you're in person. Yes. You're going in blind online. I don't care how good you are at reading. Belly did an online dane. Look at her now. She's happy. Exactly. That's the takeaway. She was in Paris on online dating. We just speaking from Maddiey's experience. Just from my experience and my personal only her experience. Just my personal preference. I that's what I learned was that on my own little journey I heard a theory that most most people who found each other online was during 2020 apparently rumor has it which listen it's still a very viable option for people Maddie just doesn't want to go on there and neither do we but we never really wanted to not down for it anymore exhausting anyway we're getting off topic we are part of I was saying that was the part of my Did Belly meet Conrad on a dating app I don't think so she did not exactly oh my god remember that guy that she dated in the first season. Cam Cameron. Cam Cameron. Such a good um Yes. Where did that guy go? Cuz I read them recently. Recently. No, I was going to say about the lost and found thing that we coming back to that earlier topic is I just feel like I feel like my hair is expanding. Oh my goodness. That's okay. But I was going to say that the lost and found thing from earlier. I think it's healthy to be a little bit lost and a little bit found because like I just this I don't know if this is going to sound weird or not but like until you're at the end of your life like you are going to be a little lost and a little found because there's like always new things happening like nothing can stay the same. Yeah. So it's like yeah you're going to be a little lost and a little found. Are you saying it's like the only like that saying the only constant in life is change? Yeah. cuz it's like which is a great thing cuz if you're going through a tough time it means things are going to change and if it if you're in a good time of life then things could even get better. You never know. Guess what I was just thinking. Very optimistic. Yeah. No, I seriously do think but I also think that has happened in my life at edit. Wait, can I just Sorry. No, it's okay. I was just going to say too that I feel like any change in my life negative. Take a nap. Go ahead. Sorry. I was just going to say that any change in my life, negative or positive, has almost always had a positive outcome. You have a really good attitude about that. I I must say. Yeah. But it's true because you always learn something. I agree. Cuz I believe everything happens for a reason. Yeah. I just think like you always look back and you're like, "Oh, that things happen. You're like that wasn't great, but I guess it did happen for this reason." But but then you look back, you're like, "Oh, that taught me this. I haven't made that mistake again because of that lesson." And that's and I think this is something we've talked about in that topic. I think we've talked about this before. I don't think we've said this on the podcast, but tell me if I'm repeating myself where when you're going through things, you don't know the lesson yet. And that's partly what's hard about is that you don't have hindsight. So, you're just kind of like, I'm going through something. I know I'm going to learn something. I don't know what it is. I don't know how it's going to turn out. I was talking about that this summer with my best friend. Wink wink cuz we were I was crashing out and then she came over and we talked about everything. Just talking about the uncertainty of the times and just how you know whenever you're going through a tough time there's always something you're learning and you don't know it in the moment because you're still learning it. And then it's like one upon reflection you'll be like, "Oh, that's what I learned in this moment." It's either one thing or multiple things cuz nothing's black and white. He probably learned a mixture of things. And in addition to that, I think like when you hit rock bottom or you're at a low point, even if it's not rock bottom, I think everything like builds like a foundation. So it's like one little piece might come together and then another little piece will come together. Like not everything comes together at the exact same time, I think. Or if it does come together at this exact same time, it's the product of a bunch of things compounding that you didn't realize. Yeah. So it doesn't like it's not like you know we talked about that with like an overnight success but the same goes for all these important pillars of your life. Even with a love story I think like when you meet the right person you're like oh yeah I know how this you know like I what am I saying? Everything to where you're going. Am I being unclear? No I think you're good. I think you're saying that like life is like building blocks. Yeah. And that you're always building up to like the moment that you're in right now. But it's like well it's like they can you can say that about you know positive and negative things. Like again we all have reactions to things based off past experiences. And I think like part of the building blocks like I had a crash out last night and it was a product of all these things I hadn't dealt with all coming to the surface at the same time. Like it didn't come out of nowhere. It was all these like things gradually spilling over. And the same it can happen in a good way too. But I think it's a good way to track your progress. Mhm. and feel good about, you know, even if you're not at your be all end all, whatever your goal is, whether that's like any area of your life, I think you can track your progress in the sense of like, oh, well, I have I'm I've built this one little thing and that's good and I'm trying to build this next thing. But I also think the building blocks help you. Like I saw this thing, too, where I I think Mackenzie Drezen, one of our guests, Yeah. Mackenzie Den, she just she was just married last year, last year, so we're getting used to Um, but we've known her a while now, so still getting used to it. That's right. But Mackenzie Drezen Cook, one of our guests and our very dear friend said this, but she said that going through hard things um is difficult, but it also is helpful because it can help you relate to people. It gives you perspective. It helps you learn how to deal with difficult things. And I just think that's one of those building blocks. Like it's your building blocks are like I don't know why we're going so deep into this this one. We're in it right now. That's what I think. It's just like the building blocks are like positive and negative experiences that create who you are. Just like in the summer turn pretty that's why they had the happy ending because but I was going to say there's all these building blocks. Sorry to take it back to the show is just like the two characters Conrad and Belly like they for anyone who hasn't watched it um they have all these positive and negative building blocks of their relationship and I feel like that's actually what makes it meaningful at the end is that like even like his his mother died and she knew his mom and like was very close with her and like that was one of the building blocks of their relationship even though it was really hard but I feel like that was part of like what brought them together, but then also all these other positive experiences of like growing up. That's what she was worried about is that she said, "You only love me because your mom loved." Yeah. But it's also because it's also because they grew up together and then passed, even when she passed, they had a connection. He said, "Every version of me has loved you." Is that not what he said? I honestly think you ate with that. Thank you. But I was thinking about it even in my own life. Like I just think, you know, we've gone through a lot of positive and negative experiences in our life, like Mattiey's health and everything. like those were negative building blocks also grief like I don't know if you've ever talked about that but like during co and actually none of these people died from co ironically or whatever but during that time but during that time there's literally during 2020 2021 every 3 or 4 months passed away someone passed away to the point that I think it was four or five it got to the point where it was like okay who's next oh my god how much more grief can I take like and you were struggling with your health at the time and I was struggling with my health and It was like very, you know, a dark place, but they're all like important people. But you know what that again building block has taught me is in this moment of, you know, like this summer where I've gone through like a big adjustment of like having to get a job, Maddie and El gotten jobs and like every all of our work up until this point has been together. So, it's been like a really big adjustment for me in particular because I'm the last one to like have that adjustment of getting a job. Like I'm the last one left in like the old life, I guess you could say. Yeah. Um, into one world. Yeah. Like I'm like sorry screenwriting screenwriting jokes but um yeah I know like I'm I'm the only one last we're we're nerds so cultured not cultured informed but again that like the tough moments of my past taught me that this too shall pass like cuz I've been through harder things before and I've gotten through it and that's what that really came out the other side and I think like that teaches you like those building blocks remember that really hard summer we had when we were 17, 16, 17, 17. Um, it was like we're going through a really tough time because of Maddiey's health and then it passed and I remember in it you were kind of like I felt like it would never felt like it would never end. So that did teach us that where I I remember thinking that too when it ended I was like oh that was a really hard time and it felt like we were never going to leave that and now anytime anytime we're going through a hard chapter I just think back to those moments and I'm like oh it'll pass. Also like this might sound corny but this too shall pass. I also am grateful I've been through hard things in a way because if other people are going through hard things like I know how to speak to it. Not that I know other people's experiences but I know you understand on some level what it feels like to go through something really hard on that how nice that you can connect with someone over that and maybe make them feel better and less alone like just because you've gone through something in the past. Yeah. Like and thank God Conrad went through that really difficult time of losing his mom because I think it gave him a lot of perspective and he reflected a lot. I think I think that's when he realized he Yeah. But I think she was a lot with people go through some hard things and I think like I remember a lot of perspective. I know you guys are going through this with your friends. I think like when she was sick, sorry. When Susanna was, it's what Susanna would have wanted. When Susanna was the mom in summer, Susanna was sick, you know, he was going through a lot and I think like he was kind of, you know, he was all moody and like, you know, I remember this too when I had people going through hard things is it's like you kind of have like a different vibe going and then once she passed, it allowed him to like move on from it and reflect. And like when you're in it, I always say like if you're in a tough time, you're in survival mode. Conrad was in survival mode. My poor guy. He was not his best. I empathize with him. And was out here. I remember when he was like, "I'm sorry. I can't be there for Oh, so I remember when when we went through that hard summer when Maddie was sick. It was like I remember just feeling like I wasn't funny. Like I was like, "Well, I haven't." Oh my god. Like I was just That's the most tragic statement. More tragic than me being sick to be honest. I wasn't really laughing. What? No, I'm kidding. You what? We're kidding. That was more tragic. Totally kidding. What? Daddy said that's more tragic than me being sick and I was like, "Maybe not to differ. Love the inappropriate sense of humor." Yeah, it's so dark. Sorry. We're fine now. That's how we've gotten through it. Dark sense of humor. I do think I have a dark sense of humor and I don't know if it's because of that. Do you? I think I do. I don't think your humor is that dark. Not like dark. Like there's definitely people have way darker sense of humor than me, but it's like it's on the cusp. You know who had a really dark sense of humor? It was Grandpa. Grandpa Deets. Oh yeah, my grandpa dark kind of British. It's very British humor. Very British humor. That's why I didn't say anything to British people could be watching us and be like, "What the he told?" Yeah, he was. Sorry, that was a terrible British accent. I'm so sorry to the surviving grandpa. Apologies to the only British. No, no, no. I love I love grandpa so much. And I remember he was one of the ones that passed away. Guys, we're getting so off topic. No, but I was just going to say quickly that I could say I could say anything to him and he would not flinch. Like it could be the most insane roast. Yeah, he loved it. of all time. And he Don't even say roast in front of me right now. Wait, wait. We had we had roast beef the other day and my god my god thinly sliced roast beef with gravy and I have not stopped thinking about it. You went from our grandfather who we whom we love and miss to roast beef. He loved roast beef too. Actually, he would be cackgling right now. That connection. He would find it hilarious. Like I said, that man's sense of humor. Yeah. And you know what he would say? He would say, "We should have roast beef next week." That's what he would say. We should have say, "Let's have Mr. Beef." What I was going to say that relates to the summary turn pretty cuz I know that you guys are going to And then we got to wrap this up cuz this is getting extremely chaotic. I know. But I like it. I like it when we go. Maddie, we have no wrap it up. Um, so so the last thing I'm Well, like whatever. I can't promise this to be the last thing I see. I'm sleepy. Youngest child. I'm I don't know if there's any other people. I I've seen something. Apparently Oscar Past is sleepy, too. But I'm I'm a really sleepy person. I am too, but I don't like sleepy person. I don't like napping completely. So if it was raining out, I think I would. I'm just really tired. Go ahead. Last thing I'm going to say here is that, and this kind of reminds me of the summer I turned pretty too, like talking about the 20s and with Belly and Conrad, like going through hard things, making them come back together and appreciate each other. You guys have been noticing that with your friends right now. And I think it's because when you're teenagers, and this happened to me, too, where you're a teenager, you're kind of like in your own world. You don't necessarily like think about other people or like appreciate the really good friends. And then you go through stuff in your teens to 20s that makes you appreciate the people that you have in your life that it makes you be like, "Oh, wait. That person that I haven't been in touch with is actually a really amazing person. I should get back in touch with them and reconnect." Yeah. What is referencing we've been reconnecting with a lot of old friends and it's been so much fun? And they've they've turned into such beautiful people and it's like so nice to reconnect with, you know, people that knew like a really, you know, young version of yourself that was like maybe even your truest form, you know. Yeah, it's so true. And like they knew that part of you. And I just was saying that I I I genuinely like I I stayed in contact with these people, but I did not think as a teenager to reach out. And then you hit your 20s and at least this happened to me. But it's like I just I value my close friends and family so much. And then you think back on these people that were an important part of your life when you were younger and you were like, I should reintegrate them into my life. Like they were so important back then. Just because you know life, you know, took us away from each other doesn't mean that we can't like come back together and like go through the rest of life together. Yeah. Like it makes you appreciate each other. Like even me and my cousin Mark who we're like we call each other like fraternal twin cousins apart and we like super close growing up. And then in our teen years, you know, like as you do with everyone, you kind of drift a little bit. And then when we got into our 20s at almost the exact same age as Evan and Ell are now, we got really close again and have been close again ever since. I honestly feel like, sorry, last thing I'll say is like the 20s, I really feel like I've like you're coming back to like your younger self, but like adult form. Actually, you're so right. And that's kind of like what happened to that actually happened with Belly. Yeah, that happened with Belly at the finale where she realized she was like, "Oh, wait." Like young me was on to something like Yeah. She would have wanted this. She wished for him on every Yes. But reconnecting with your inner child is a crucial part of your 20s that brings you closer to your true friends to true love. Like I turn pretty was that was like the lesson honestly. I just think as a teenager Yeah. And like as a teenager I feel like whether you think you are or not, you're pretending in some way because you're insecure with parts of yourself. And I just think in your 20s like that can still be true. But I just think for me in my 20s, I've really just felt this like sense of calm of like I don't care what people think. I don't care if you like me because like I like me and I also think it has a lot to do with like I have a lot of very close friends and family that I know love me for who I am and so that also gives me confidence and I just think like finding your group really like instills that in yourself and like it's just such a time of life like you're just like I don't need even I remember when we started the serving job I went into it and I was like I don't need these people to like me like I don't I just went in I was myself. I did my thing and I ended up we ended up finding some great friends out of it. But I went into it without this like cuz I think as a teenager you go into everything you're just like I need to find people and they need to like me and like I don't know I don't know if everyone feels that way but I think it's part of your journey to finding like it's normal to not have friends that you resonate with. It's normal to go through friendship breakups. It's normal to go through all that because that ultimately leads you to the right people. So like trust the process and even if you're not and again as corny as that sounds and Josie's auntie talked about this how she was like pretending in dating but I think you can pretend in friendships too and in any relationship in your life I think like if you're in your 20s really try to like push even if it's uncomfortable but just like yeah she was the most recent episode 12ap but I was just going to say quickly is just like I just think at this age like push yourself to be your true self even if it's uncomfortable. She said it really good. She was like, "I dare you to not like me." You know, like how I just think like if someone It's like that thing, too, where it's like your life if someone doesn't like you and your life if they do like you, like it doesn't change. It's the same. Your life is the same. If people judge you, if they do all this stuff, you lose yourself. You lose yourself when you pretend for too long. So, I think like in your 20s, like really just be yourself. And it's like probably going to be scary at first, but I think you just have to like push through that. And then it's like a practice. Like the more you do push yourself to be yourself, then like you will just naturally be that way and then you'll care less and less what other people think and you'll just like like it's a habit. The last thing I think it's a practice. Yeah. And the last little thing I'm going to say I don't trust you. The last little thing. What? I don't trust that this is the last little thing that you're going to say. I thought you said to me you don't trust me. I was like talking about what I was going to say. I was I'm like in my mid20 yawn count for me episode like in my early 20s I was very caught up in like okay well I mean actually early 20s I was caught up in being sick so I can't really say that I was caught up in anything else like let's laugh about it so funny not traumatizing at all um so you've been to therapy you're fine I had six years of therapy um but we're here now my girl ain't cheap yeah but it's worth it worth it honestly I know but I Think about sometimes with like what if you can't afford it? Some people don't have the means and that's sad. I wish there's a lot of free options that are free. There are options that are free but the one that you needed wasn't free. No, it wasn't. You needed EMDR. Yeah. Um, sorry. But what I was going to say is just that something that made us like I had a like one of your childhood friends visited last week and was talking about a couple of things that just put a lot into perspective because I just thought like that I was so caught up in success as like a young teen. Yeah. And then now like I realize that there's things like I have things that like no amount of money, no amount of fame, no amount of whatever can buy or have. Like I was like wow like I this is really important and just made me realize that deep connections with friends, family. Yeah. Like this like there's you could be the most successful person in your 20s and you could you know not you know like I don't know just what I'm going to say this one last thing. Sorry, I don't know if this is on or off topic, but it's just a thought that I had. I also think um like if you have true friends and if you do this and you know they don't get a good response, maybe they aren't your true friends, but like talking about things that like are uncomfortable helps you deepen your relationships and your connection to friends and family like voicing the inner concerns and fears and you know vulnerabilities vulnerabilities like talkable like belly your true friends that want to help you. Yeah. talk about that with your friends and and your family, like people that you trust. And I I just feel like we actually do this thing with our best friend Jenna where if like Ava was crashing out last week and we were supposed to see Jenna cuz we she lives like 30 seconds away from us and we were going to just like go and go for a walk and chat and stuff cuz we need to chat about everything and um Ava was like crashing out and I was like Ava like like do you want me to tell her? Do you not want to talk about it? Whatever. And then I real I remembered that our best friend told us one time that she was like, "I was having a #20's moment." And now we literally will text each other that and I said to Ava, I was like, "Can I just tell her you're having a hashtag?" Yeah. Like I was like, "Sorry, I need to push this for like 10 more minutes." Yeah. Like 10 30 more minutes cuz she was like 20's moment. And I just wanted to stop crying before I saw her because I was just like, "I'm going to save her that trouble." But then when I did see her, I talked it through with her and it made me feel better because it was just like she's going through the same things. Like I also think the the the joy of like, you know, family is so amazing. They help you through those moments. But the joy of like friends your age who like get it cuz they're going through the same things. Like nobody gets it like the other people that are. So you should text your friends. I'm having a hashtag 20s moment because that's what we say. Don't shy away from those conversations cuz I just feel like it made me feel better. I mean I'm also very grateful. I have a great friend, great best friend. Um, but like I think search for those connections because they they really do help. But we can I think we can end it there. This has been this has been all over the the damn place. Well, I think it was a good spark conversation sparkers talking about spar king conversation. I hope you weren't confused if you haven't seen the summer turn pretty. I would highly recommend reading the books. Um, show was great too. just honestly like like I said before psychologically rich in in weird ways psychologically they say psychologically which I agree because it's kind of like I don't know it's like you know grief and all that I mean emotionally too I guess I don't know but emotional realism that's a whole other tangent that we don't have to go on those but anyway I hope everyone enjoyed and um please comment below if you're having a hashtag 20's moment about your 20's moment comments. DM us if you're having a hashtag20s moment, maybe we can help you. Yeah. I also want to start You just need someone to vent to. Yeah. I like I've been wanting to do like Yeah. Like if people have questions that we can like answer, so if anyone has those, you can talk about or just Yeah. If you're curious about what our thoughts like we're not professionals, but like we could, you know, we could rant for portion of time. Just want to have a little convo about it. Yeah. Let us know. I don't know if anyone's interested in that, but if you are, please reach out. A holler. Yeah. I hope everyone has a splendid day. Thank you for listening. Happy 20s. Happy 20s. That was unfortunate. I'm so sorry. I actually didn't mind it. You didn't mind it? I didn't mind that. We got to go put El to bed. I heard happy 20s and I thought, wow, what a nice thing to end with. Go to bed. El's gonna have a nap. Bye. Bye.